integers

I'm always looking for new inspirations to have a better workout, especially on Thursdays. I train twice a week with Amy. On Tuesdays, I work on building smaller muscles or fine tuning them. Although the workout is intense and leaves me breathless, Tuesday is the lesser of two evils for sure. Thursdays are grueling.

This past week, I needed to find a way to make Thursday's session more manageable. One Thursday, I was following my 5 meals-a-day plan and I felt, or so I thought, ready and fueled to take on Thursday. Wrong. I was food-fueled, but I was mentally and physically exhausted from my life and times as a teacher that day. So my workout that day was okay, but not full.
The following Thursday, I was practicing good choice making with my meals, I slept a decent amount and I thought, "This is it! Today I'm going to rock the floor!!" Wrong. (Don't two negatives make a positive?) Maybe it was my job, that my kids at school were off the wall, maybe it was my financial hardship and the weight of the world on my shoulders or maybe it was that beer I drank last night (God I hope not). After nearly dying on the floor after my second set of burpee/push-up/squat/lunge/jumpingjack routine, I realized that it doesn't matter how many negatives you have, they will not make a positive unless you let them. I am in control of the operation. [+1 for being a math goddess!] It's all about the operation.

Here we are, Thursday, January 26, 2012 and I was on a mission! I had decent meals approaching 5 PM, I slept a good amount and I was going to the gym early. Normally, if I warm-up before I work out, I'll take a chance on the dreadkill while listening to Eminem or my trail mix - anything to get my heart racing. Well, today I was going to take a chance and try something new. I decided since I was wearing my Under Armor capris and Nike moisture wiking red t-shirt, I was going to ride the bike. [In my previous experience, what I wear to the gym indefinitely predicts what machine I will be using. Compression type bottoms are strictly reserved for the bike. Running shorts are saved for the dreadkill. It's all about ventilation, people, ventilation!]

Before getting on the bike, I chose the rowing machine. My back was sore from Tuesday (still the lesser of two evils) and needed to row. Rowing calms me. Instead of hauling ass to my usual mix of Eminem, I decided to listen to my "Ally Playlist." While rowing to John Mayer's "Free Falling (Live)," I began to row. While rowing, I simply focused on the song and making sure I was maintaining my posture. I didn't think about school, finances, buying new sneakers or even what I was going to endure in 45 minutes.

"Now I'm free, free falling, falling.."

I rowed for 25 minutes at a steady pace. Then I continued my session on the bike. Songs like, "Collide" - Howie Day and "Heaven When We're Home" -The Wallin' Jennys propelled me for the remaining 12 minutes. I cycled 12 miles and then stretched. Was I ready for Thursday? 

Amy asked me how my day was. Instead of saying the usual, "Well, it was terrible." I said, "I've accepted that most days will probably be not very good. It comes with my job. I will let you know when I have a great day. I am living with that. This is MY time and no one can take it away from me." I blew Thursday's training session out of the water! According to Amy, it was the toughest routine yet to date and I owned it! I did things like, wall push-ups, crunches with the medicine ball, being the lunge-master as I strut my stuff across the gym floor. Eat it up boys, there's a new sheriff in town! 

I felt 

redemption

strength

courage

stamina

wisdom.

If you're searching for something to keep you going or something to get you there, examine the variables you have and change the operation. 

keep going, don't forget to breathe.

pocket of inspiration

When I feel like giving up - this is what I think about.

I think about how invigorating I felt finishing this 3 mile mud run.

I think about how much I loved crawling through that mud.

I think about my team and how they didn't give up on me - not once.

I think about how strong I thought I was then and how strong I am now.

When I feel like giving up - I keep moving forward.

getting serious at the gym

I joined the gym way back Thanksgiving Day of 2010. Today was my second training session of the New Year at the gym with my fabulous personal trainer, Amy. She is my backbone. There is no way I could do this alone, especially with my kind of motivation at times. ;)

Today, I was even more excited than normal. (Flashback: This time last year, I never would have been excited about going to the gym, ever.) I signed up for training 2 times a week. This means, I will be strength training twice instead of just once and the other days are up to me to make good choices. I need to get serious. Last night, I was reading articles and "survivor stories" authored by what seemed to be fierce, life-long athletes about the Tough Mudder and was getting kind of scared. Then I reminded myself that this challenge was decided by myself and it is for the best to keep going. I'm not going to half-ass anything. One of my New Life Resolutions was, if I said I was going to do something, I would do it. Here I am, fear and all - I'm still swimming.

I am looking forward to increasing my weight, bench pressing (who would have thought?), pull-ups and eating more appropriately. (Read: eating less cookies) 

A huge THANK YOU and endless gratification goes to my girl, Frankenstein. Thanks for the motivation and inspiring advice. Rock those 26.2!

a long, overdue beginning

This picture right here, is the entire reason I think about writing about my journey. Every time I look at this picture or take a picture while running, I think, I need to share "the good, the bad and the ugly" as I experience it. If not for anyone else, then for me. The physical scars and pain I may endure during this whole process will be with me to the end. But as someone once told me, "It's not where you're going, it's how you got there." So this is my "how." I'm going to Pocono Manor on May 12, 2012. This is my story of how I'm going to get there and then leave alive.